Day 15: April 30

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” Robert McCloskey

I know I have explained it, but I really don't think you got it. You said you got it. You cut off my explanation like you didn't need to hear it. But... by the way you are acting, I'm pretty sure you have no idea what I was saying.

Day 14: April 29

“High achievers spot rich opportunities swiftly, make big decisions quickly and move into action immediately. Follow these principles and you can make your dreams come true.”

-Robert Schuller

Day 13: April 28

“The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.”

- Chuck Palahniuk

It is a scary journey that we are on, but one that is going to be worth it. Andy is much more confident than I am about it, which is odd. I've always been the one who believed it would all work out- but he tells me this often.

Day 12: April 27

'I cannot go to school today, '
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
'I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
- Shel Silverstein

I spent the entire afternoon on the couch. I just felt blah. And this photo, it is a little blah too.

Day 11: April 26

"All I want is a place to call my own, to mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone."
 -A Day to Remember quotes 

Today, I just want a place to call my own. I want MY house to be MY house- until it isn't MY house anymore. I want it to be treated like MY house until it is no longer MY house. I don't want to come home to a mess from someone else's dog. I don't want to clean up a mess that isn't my responsibility. And, put the damn seat down!

Day 10: April 25

At sunrise everything is luminous but not clear. It is those we live with and love and should know who elude us. You can love completely without complete understanding.
Norman Maclean

Sunrise is such a peaceful time of day. The world is silent and fresh. At sunrise we have the first light of our new day- our new opportunity- our new chance to start over. It is also a time of vast change. In such a small amount of time the world changes from dark to light. That sudden change can be scary- but it always ends brighter than it started.

Day 9: April 24

"Charm is a glow within a woman that casts a most becoming light on others."  ~John Mason Brown

Day 8: April 23

"Some people lead; some people follow." Pat Hutchinson, 2nd grade

 What type of river would you like to be? An old river that goes with the flow, or a new river that carves its own way through the canyon? I was told this after I'd been "naughty" for a substitute with some friends at my daycare. It stuck with me. It is chosen for today's quote because I heard it again on a show I was watching, and I remembered the moment that honestly changed the way I thought about myself, and made a huge impact on my life.

Day 7: April 22

Physical punishment cleanses away evil; such discipline purifies the heart. Proverbs 20:30

My goal was to read the entire Bible is six months. I finished today, and this was the last verse I read.

Day 6: April 21

But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.  Isaiah 40:31

The first time I remember hearing this verse was my sophomore year, on our way to the state cross-country meet. A friend read it to us for inspiration. Today I helped out at our school's track meet. It made me reminiscent of my days as a runner and my days as a coach. I miss them both. I came home and was motivated to do some arm exercises and calf raises. I want to exercise more, and I know I can be given the strength (emotional, mental, and physical) to do it. 

Day 5: April 20

“Reflect upon your present blessings of which every man has many - not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some” Charles Dickens

All roses have thorns, but if we judged them solely by that, we would miss out on their beauty. I know the blessings being showered down on me right now come with a few thorns. I know my new job will be stressful in November.  I know my wonderful dog is actually very sick. I know Andy and I have a painful past. But I am so excited about my new job. I love playing with my dog when I get home. And I couldn't be happier about my relationship right now. :)

Day 4: April 19

When in doubt, make a fool of yourself.  There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth.  So what the hell, leap.  ~Cynthia Heimel, "Lower Manhattan Survival Tactics"

Day 3: April 18

“Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.”  - Denis Waitley

Andy and I have been working on things for several months now. A lot of it has been, "Eventually... this is what will happen..." But this weekend, things became very real, and things have changed. There are things happening now, and for me it is great. We are making forward progress, and it is going so much better than I could have imagined. Trust deposits are being made, and I am healing.

Day 2: April 17

"People with integrity walk safely, but those who follow  crooked paths will slip and fall." Proverbs 10:9

Who am I behind the locked door? What do I do when no one is looking? I was reminded today that sometimes integrity means being honest with ourselves, as much as with others.

I want to walk the safe path of integrity, knowing I am safe, even when the door isn't locked.

Day 1: April 16, 2011

"Love is more than a noun -- it is a verb; it is more than a feeling -- it is caring, sharing, helping, sacrificing."

- William Arthur Ward

Love is a verb- an action. It is something that we do for others and a way that we act toward others. I have often felt that one of those actions is to sacrifice for them to be happy. I am starting to realize though that real love is helping each other to both be happy, so no sacrifice is actually needed.